I'm beginning to break down like a school child who can't win "monkey in the middle" in trying to get a short sale closed. I am so, so angry, frustrated....
Litton has the first lien. I'm beginning to misplace the whole pads of notes taken on phone calls with these people. Their bankruptcy company (Brice Vander Linden and Wernick) is no better. I have danced with their every whim as they change, and so far I've yet to see even the payoff request which I faxed on April 22, 2010. And have called to follow up on over and over, without getting anything. They see the request, they say it's ordered, but still no report. I was thrown so many giant balls over the months of this transaction that I finally forgot about the payoff!
The house went under contract May 21. Court order in hand (there is a cast of bankruptcy attorneys involved in the theatrics, too - no easier to reach than Litton or BVW), we were able to send the complete packet on May 24. Follow up call: yes, they have it. Yes, everything they need is there. Good to go.
Next week, no news. We have it. We're working on it. Buh-bye.
Next week, same story.
Next week, via snail mail, my client gets the letter saying that the fax was illegible. ???
Flaming, but staying calm, I called "Kenisha", who has been the flat-voice on the other end of the line the whole way. Not that she is the negotiator. THAT would be "Kevin" who is never available. "Fax it again." she says. Are you KIDDING? Three weeks later? They will not stoop to e-mail - that information is unavailable, as are the direct lines for these people who sit happily playing in their offices whilst we sit on hold for agonizing hours, hoping not to be disconnected (which is a good % of the time). I get the address to send priority overnight the whole package again, nice and clean. Lo and behold, it's in Dallas. I live 30miles away.
Collecting my 3 children and buying the biggest ice cream floats Sonic carries, I withdraw them early from camp to trek to their offices. There is no reception area, only a small table with an unmarked phone, a directory (!), and handwritten notes on every door leading out of the area saying "DO NOT ENTER!!!" "EMPLOYEES ONLY!!!" After making note of Kevin and Kenisha's direct numbers, I call to let them know I'm hear. They are not happy. Flashbacks of the boogeyman-in-the-house-while-the-babysitter-gets-his-phone-call horror movies ran through my mind when the voice on the line asked, "What, er, what land line are you calling from?" Yes, I am here. Why bother wasting postage or toner when I'm so close by!~!! I'll swap you the "illegible" copy for the fresh one! Win-win!
Grudgingly, and not without a good half hour wait in the lobby, my packet was received and I was able to make nice (I thought) with my negotiator. He was all about helping me see my friend not face foreclosure and was in control, had everything he needed! Yay!
Of course, I called to follow up regularly. It took three weeks for him to let me know that they now need a hardship letter. We got him one, and our packet was submitted to Litton JULY 7 - only two and a half months after the executed date!!! Not bad~!
So, has this baby closed yet? No way! Here we are on August 12, and the bankruptcy attorney has informed me she needs to payoff by end of day. We need to file another motion to stall the foreclosure. The one we'd had pushed to September 7th. I call Kenisha (my negotiator, Kevin, is no longer with the company), who transfers me to bankruptcy, who can't help but transfers me to Kim Smith (the same rep who said she was ON IT on April 22 when I asked the first time!!!) who assures me she's ON IT!
End of day, no docs. I called again. I get another rep, who puts me on hold while he talks to Kim. Half an hour later, I'm armed with the knowledge that they payoff will take 10 days. WHAT ABOUT the request April 22???? still waiting on that! "Not our rules. Litton's. You'll have to talk to Litton." OK, so I find a useful number for Litton.
More time on hold, I get DANNY. No less the wise-@ss than anyone at the bankruptcy place, he asks my name. I tell him. He says, no the OTHER name. ? After lots of cat-and-mouse, the name he is asking for is my broker. That was fun. Then he says, "Oh, I can't talk to you. This authorization is expired!" Please fax a new one to xxxxxxxx. then it'll be at least two business days before I'm authorized to speak to you. We have a process.
OK, Danny, can I just vent here now? I tell him all of the above (and I haven't even gotten to the dealings with Bank of America and Equator - still waiting on task assignments and progress since initiating June 15th; their broken links do not help!), and he says with a chuckle and without any apologies, "You can fax the new authorization to xxxxxxxx." Can't I e-mail it? Nope! Ha! Ha! Ha! Can I have a direct number to reach you again so I don't have to start over the whole story? Nope! Ha! Ha!
Reduced to chasing tails and what's underneath them is what I feel like. So WHO IS THEIR BOSS?

So, this year, I decided I would overcome my pyrophobia and indulge the urge to buy some sparklers and a few fireworks for the season. We drove our boys to summer camp on the 4th, passing several stands selling elaborate displays of 'crackers and I vowed to stop on the way home.

